Bringing up kids

The title itself evokes mixed feelings in me. I feel anticipation , excitement , anxiety, happiness, pride , fear , hope… all at once.
Do we ‘bring up’ kids or help them ‘grow’.
There are parallel tracks at work here. The child is born, grows through the various stages of life as he/she is meant to -The physical, mental, emotional growth without too much of outside influence other than the basic needs catered to and the other scenario where there is this huge influence, support, nurturing that a parent does along with the natural growth.
Some of us prepare for this role in life much in advance – long before the arrival of the child or even before one thinks of having a child.
I would say that our own upbringing and growing up starts off our preparation towards being parents - our thoughts, behavior patterns, expectations are continuously and constantly formed.
I love kids. Inspite of growing up in a nuclear family , we had a joint family atmosphere created during time spent with cousins, friends etc. All this kept me pro kids and built /shaped my outlook towards being a parent.
As time passed – went through what in my mind was a natural progression – pursuing education, getting married ,working …being a parent. Natural progression as I saw it-I know it’s debatable but as mentioned earlier that was my mind set.
So in my life came the moment of ‘gosh -the moment life changes ….nothing is ever the same ever.’
I loved that moment. It is one of the most memorable moment of my life-twice repeated…
But let me tell you… nothing…ever prepares you for parenthood .However much we think we have been preparing ourselves by reading , spending time with other kids ,babysitting for friend’s kids , or sibling’s kid’s… Nothing ever prepares us for this role.
Like all else in life only being in the situation really teaches one. Experiencing a state in its essence is unlike anything imagined or visualized. Any activity, role we take up – unless we start living it or practicing it –we don’t actually know what comes our way or how it is.
So coming back to being a parent – We are parents irrespective of choosing to be one or being presented with the role of being one when the news of impending parenthood is announced to one. All react to this in different ways. – some have planned for this ..some accept it as one of the stages of life to be lived…some are smacked back by the impending change, huge shift in their lives /lifestyle. One is now forever responsible for another living being.

So some welcome it, look forward , prepare for it with excitement and completely embrace the event and its implications :there are those who go with the flow ,take it in their stride and live it to the best of their abilities.
One lives and the other revels.
It’s quite an education, entertainment watching parents deal with their kids. Parents are held to ransom . Some have a workable plan and some wade through. We are guided, misguided by people, books ,tv and all other sources of information.
Some think and some react -Some stay calm some panic –some take charge some give up !!!
One is faced with so many issues to deal with in this journey of bringing up kids. It makes demands upon one on the physical , mental , intellectual , emotional and financial front.
All kinds of knowledge ,skills are called for. All said and done it is an exhilarating role of life.
From the time of knowing one will be a parent it’s a life-long role one lives.
A parent is required to visualize a child’s ongoing needs, recognizing his/her individuality, personality and help them learn in life. Help them acquire not only basic skills but life skills. Alongside solving a sum , painting/coloring a tree ;they have to be taught to value themselves and others as people, sensitise them to their surroundings and world at large ..realize their potential , let them dream and guide them until they are ready.
To fly on their own . Live their lives fully.
M any get caught in living their unfulfilled lives through their kids. While some give their kids all they missed out on. It s a fine balance to be firm yet loving, giving but with holding at times
Holding them back at times and at times letting them make their mistakes to learn.
A constant watch –subtle , non intrusive is kept.
Parents are called upon to -
To nurture, inspire , challenge the kids ..
To help them dream, work towards their(kids) dreams / goals and
watch/help them achieve it.
This encapsulates what this particular journey is about for me .
It has its moments but let me tell you totally worth all that one faces or goes through .