HEAR ME....

 C O M M U N I C A T I O N

Yes! Needs spelling out, grabbing by the neck or descriptions 

to move you.

Bring you into the world one wants to operate in .

Client needs to grab interest, retain top of mind share and prodding 

to act in the said client’s favor.

A leader needs to walk in said employer’s shoe to  understand 

what ticks them to then work as a team.

Members of a family need to empathise, know the other person’s journey 

to relate and deepen the bond and ensure good relationships.

People need communication to relate, revel and rejoice in their lives.

life as it is........

A cry connotes our birth .. a pat reassures.. held close to a body of warmth pacifies us - 

this is our entry to our life- Birth .. pushed into our existence.

The constant lessons by all & sundry .. words of advice, talks of guidance,

 tips from the aware well wisher and comrade in all - Friends.....

Wants, aspirations,fears,insecurities ..fun times, trying times all bear witness 

to the bond created , sustained , distanced ,cherished & reveled in.




2015

Bringing up kids

The title itself evokes mixed feelings in me. I feel anticipation , excitement , anxiety, happiness, pride , fear , hope… all at once.
Do we ‘bring up’ kids or help them ‘grow’.
There are parallel tracks at work here. The child is born, grows through the various stages of life as he/she is meant to -The physical, mental, emotional growth without too much of outside influence other than the basic needs catered to and the other scenario where there is this huge influence, support, nurturing that a parent does along with the natural growth.
Some of us prepare for this role in life much in advance – long before the arrival of the child or even before one thinks of having a child.
I would say that our own upbringing and growing up starts off our preparation towards being parents - our thoughts, behavior patterns, expectations are continuously and constantly formed.
I love kids. Inspite of growing up in a nuclear family , we had a joint family atmosphere created during time spent with cousins, friends etc. All this kept me pro kids and built /shaped my outlook towards being a parent.
As time passed – went through what in my mind was a natural progression – pursuing education, getting married ,working …being a parent. Natural progression as I saw it-I know it’s debatable but as mentioned earlier that was my mind set.
So in my life came the moment of ‘gosh -the moment life changes ….nothing is ever the same ever.’
I loved that moment. It is one of the most memorable moment of my life-twice repeated…
But let me tell you… nothing…ever prepares you for parenthood .However much we think we have been preparing ourselves by reading , spending time with other kids ,babysitting for friend’s kids , or sibling’s kid’s… Nothing ever prepares us for this role.
Like all else in life only being in the situation really teaches one. Experiencing a state in its essence is unlike anything imagined or visualized. Any activity, role we take up – unless we start living it or practicing it –we don’t actually know what comes our way or how it is.
So coming back to being a parent – We are parents irrespective of choosing to be one or being presented with the role of being one when the news of impending parenthood is announced to one. All react to this in different ways. – some have planned for this ..some accept it as one of the stages of life to be lived…some are smacked back by the impending change, huge shift in their lives /lifestyle. One is now forever responsible for another living being.

So some welcome it, look forward , prepare for it with excitement and completely embrace the event and its implications :there are those who go with the flow ,take it in their stride and live it to the best of their abilities.
One lives and the other revels.
It’s quite an education, entertainment watching parents deal with their kids. Parents are held to ransom . Some have a workable plan and some wade through. We are guided, misguided by people, books ,tv and all other sources of information.
Some think and some react -Some stay calm some panic –some take charge some give up !!!
One is faced with so many issues to deal with in this journey of bringing up kids. It makes demands upon one on the physical , mental , intellectual , emotional and financial front.
All kinds of knowledge ,skills are called for. All said and done it is an exhilarating role of life.
From the time of knowing one will be a parent it’s a life-long role one lives.
A parent is required to visualize a child’s ongoing needs, recognizing his/her individuality, personality and help them learn in life. Help them acquire not only basic skills but life skills. Alongside solving a sum , painting/coloring a tree ;they have to be taught to value themselves and others as people, sensitise them to their surroundings and world at large ..realize their potential , let them dream and guide them until they are ready.
To fly on their own . Live their lives fully.
M any get caught in living their unfulfilled lives through their kids. While some give their kids all they missed out on. It s a fine balance to be firm yet loving, giving but with holding at times
Holding them back at times and at times letting them make their mistakes to learn.
A constant watch –subtle , non intrusive is kept.
Parents are called upon to -
To nurture, inspire , challenge the kids ..
To help them dream, work towards their(kids) dreams / goals and
watch/help them achieve it.
This encapsulates what this particular journey is about for me .
It has its moments but let me tell you totally worth all that one faces or goes through .

LIVE THE MOMENT........SEIZE THE DAY

Most people go through life and each day with no accountability.
The days start with no plan whatsoever and one lets it carry on whichever way it does. Some begin their day armed with lists of jobs to be completed and things to be done and tick each off their list as the day progresses.
Any which way is fine. One is entitled to live one’s life as one sees fit. The only criteria being that one is not left with regrets…..about words unsaid, deeds undone or kept for later, tasks not completed when it was needed, risks not taken which would lead to growth, chances not taken to right a wrong………
Regrets can crop up when least expected and take away one’s joys. Questions plague one about choices made or decisions taken.Would one have done things differently,made different choices,taken a different path…..
One alone can evaluate ones choices. Maybe with hindsight lots of decisions may be doubted or re-affirmed. Only time and results will tell one of the success or failure of the path one chose.
All one can do is LIVE THE MOMENT so one is always there complelety in the moment and doing the best to one’s ability…………not leaving room for regrets.
SEIZE THE DAY WITH ALL YOU HAVE, LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST AND REJOICE IN LIFE.

38 going on.......................

Another birthday and the wishes and remarks bring up a whole lot of thought ripple.One is constantly reminded of how old one is and how it looms large over every activity or action in one's life.
Life begins as a kid waiting to be older(to be able to stay up late,to drive...), progressing to where one wants to slow down the time line(wondering why one lacks the energy levels to stay up as one used to..!)to sensing the speeding by of time(i thought i had more time to do stuff...).All important milestones are highlighted by "too early" or "too late"- education,job,relationships, marriage,kids.The list is endless.

Some subscribe to the thought of age is how one feels..our action,behaviour,dressing all indicate ones image of self.How one deals with people's reaction and opinions of 'our age' - determines part of us. Scenario 1- at 38 one can be a married career woman. 2- Married,homemaker and mother of two.3-Unmarried man focused on career with no responsibilies towards home,4-Single working father.......One comes across innumerable such combinations.Look around -can you pick two people of the same age in a gathering ?

One gives up doing lots of things attributing it to age and in the process looses track of the big picture.While i turned 38 and felt my life slipping away and not having done enough(so one thinks from time to time) my grand aunt turned 88.

This brought home to me that while one scrambles to make each day count feeling that one is running out of time one could actually have only covered half of a wonderful,challenging,enriching journey of ones life.So enjoy every bit of your life whatever your age....no limits,no boundaries.SHINE....REVEL....LOVE...LIVE.

May the power be with you

We often experience a state of not feeling in control. Our actions, decisions all appear to be largely influenced by all around.(This does not apply to all but I can safely say that the majority of us experience this feeling ).

The crazy part is that its all very subtle. One does not even begin to realize the enormity of how controlled we actually are! “The other source” hovers in our sub conscious and governs our thoughts, actions- small and big and we are blissfully unaware. Only a vague restlessness is experienced.

It may have begun with toeing the line in childhood, staying in the good books, being seen as not rocking the boat. All in all we live our day to day not creating waves. But imagine doing just that – what if we push our own and other people’s boundaries; be it in dealing with thought patterns or actions.

One’s “thought ripple” brings out a different action or reaction which in turn sets off a whole new chain of events. This could be viewed as an aberration in our day to day life or an act leading to personal growth thus enhancing our lives.
Does one continue in the familiar cloistered environment or burst the bubble and open oneself to a new world via our OWN thoughts and beliefs. It may seem scary and one may not understand or recognize oneself but any thought rising in our mind is part of us.

It is an earnest wish that one empowers oneself to take charge – explore our minds and open up to our thoughts, feelings and experiences. Not reject or shy away from our seemingly new thoughts but accept, acknowledge and embrace the change we seek- thus enriching our lives.

concerns of a concerned parent-impact of media on kids

Being a parent is an all encompassing, energy consuming emotional roller coaster.
Not only do we feel the need to have our fundas and lists (regarding innumerable dos and dont s)in place. But constant brushing up on know –hows and re- evaluating tons of stuff happens day to day. One of such is the constant exposure to all kinds of experiences and happenings via newspapers , television and the wide world of the net.

We – todays generation of parents pride ourselves to be the evolved lot who want to give our kids the “exposure” to all kinds of information and experiences. Gradually we begin sifting and scrutinizing the ‘content of experiences’.
As an aware parent I am not above hiding the newspaper to avoid my children coming across gory pics or much publicized reports carried on the cover pages of abuse or physical atrocities –read rape. In case of television viewing a curb on hours spent keeps that under check.

The coverage of the recent terror attack in Mumbai – the 24x7 news reports, live images, detailed descriptions of fatalities brought forth to the surface multiple issues all at once. The fear , uncertainity ,confusion that haunted all was compounded by images that were played over and over with repercussions multi- fold.

Written matter is informative and open to personal interpretation but images played over and over is that - it haunts you forever .Intepretations are what one sees ‘as is ‘ with no references or understanding of the issue in totality. Reactions are that too – instant, biased, full of fear and anger. In the case of a child though their experiences are complex
but their feelings and reactions are simple –black or white. So to grasp events of such proportions that are intense needs a very mature and firm handling and guidance. Constant re-assurances regards security, additional attention , repeated explanations and renewing faith in LIFE was and still is the need of the hour.

Hope… Faith – strong forces that must be safe guarded to ensure their future.
Exercising restraint on what the kids are exposed to is not molly coddling them or denying them learning and exposure. But essential to evaluate that they are exposed to stuff they are ready for at an intellectual ,emotional level. And which does not stunt or retard their growth, thinking and beliefs.

At an age and stage of life that’s meant to be fun, happy and educative having to combat fears of such propotions seem unfair.